18 APRIL, 2020 - CORN COB BRAIN
But an article in Fox News yesterday (that I cannot find this AM) was about the East coast restauranteurs applauding the Los Angeles restaurants who are evading the mayor Garcetti closure rules to allow the in-doors serving of foods again.
The article goes on to Interview a Hollywood posh joint that "was" a 45 table-for-four dining room, the owner has now reduced it to 18 tables 15 feet apart, and made it mandatory for "anyone" in the dining hall (customers, waiters, bus staff, maitre' d, or cashiers) to have an approved surgical mask on at all times !!! absolutely mandatory !! they then show three pictures...
the first photo shows possibly 50 masked, well-dressed diners outside on the sidewalk waiting in 6-foot separation to enter.... the second dining room panorama shows the 18 well-spaced tables filled with seated, mask-wearing customers. the third shows a single four-person table with a waiter (pen and order pad in hand), and a fully formal set "high dinner" table complete with iced wine carafe.
ENTER MONTY PYTHON. . .
It all starts out on the street, with the separated 20-40-year-old customers (mostly on dates), making small talk while standing the legal 6 feet apart... as the camera visits... first-the-intimate: "seeing you slid into that red silk dress makes me think of you sliding "out" of that red silk dress"-"seeing you in those trousers makes me wish it was a kilt".... "the figures really look strong Carl, I graphed them, and put them on my smartphone,: as they reach out to each other, there is an 8-inch shortfall for the handoff (6-foot separation) so, the moment becomes embarrassingly awkward, "oh, they are "known" for their bouillabaisse here, it will be such fun, they serve family-style, and the wines are exquisite", "I think it is all a communist plot, there "is no" virus at all, the idea is to now have "four" restaurants serve 90 people rather than just one, like it used to be here... more taxes, more employment, more of everything".
The next clip moves to ordering at a table for four, with one masked person a stutterer, and another with a bad french accent that cannot be deciphered by the Italian waiter... the masks preclude lip-reading making for a long tedium of misinterpretation... then finally, comes the serving... eating a lambchop through a mask, soup by the spoonful through a mask, and red wine drinking, conversation, and slurping oysters on the half shell... all with masks on (keeping within the law).
The stupidity of reopening served food is beyond me... the restaurant lobby must be far stronger than the pubic health lobby.
I am then taken to visualize full hazmat suit-wearing (booties and helmets) Californians on the newly opened beaches, sunning, and wading and building sandcastles, then to the N.Y. subway where they issue you a six-foot diameter hula hoop (with shoulder straps) when you come through the turnstiles, and 10 people in a car rather than 100 as the tram leaves...
Then a quick tour of an in-process NFL football game with social distancing, and penalties when tackling, or blocking (for breaking the social distancing law) eventually players being thrown out of the game for repeated offenses... the crowd (again 8,000 people in a 50,000 seat stadium (social distance) all boo and the beer guy has to have a 6-foot pole to send you another bottle.
Yes, these are silly times... the public wants an end to stay at home and social distancing, and masks, and any control or loss of freedom, or going to a restaurant or boat cruise, or night club, so, watch for a new contagion.... of public acts of defiance.
Silly times indeed, as an'ya sez' ... there is no cure for ignorance.